i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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