Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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