Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
