What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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