I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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