By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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