They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
