party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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