Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
