I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
