worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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