I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
