I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize