he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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