I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
