I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
