wrigley field is MILF paradise
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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