just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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