Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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