yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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