remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize