I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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