weddingsv make me drug and hornr
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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