just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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