If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
