I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
