I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
