I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
