will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
