wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize