I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
