Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
