Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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