i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
