In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
