Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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