if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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