I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
