I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
