At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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