she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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