highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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