Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
