I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize