All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
