I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
