by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
