Screwed.edu
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
