i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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