My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
