Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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