I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
