boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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