Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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