Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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