just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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