the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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