Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
