We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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