Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
