i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
