I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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