Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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